* I have seen it, but never appreciated it * he thought to himself as he made his way to the window.

       His path cut through the dust particles sending them swimming away from him. He could feel a part of him die as he thought of her again. So many miles separated them, time and distance were his enemies now. He needed her, without her, he could feel a part of him missing, as if he wasn't complete any longer. He cursed the moment that he fell in love with her, for it was then that he lost his power to control his heart. She had taken it, wrapped herself around it and had opened his heart to pleasures he had never known before.

       He watched the sun rising from behind the horizon. How many times had he cursed the coming morning? How many times had he dreaded facing another day, another failure? She had taken that dread, that fear from him. Just as she had removed the fear, new more powerful emotions replaced it. He felt a love for her that he couldn't put into words, she was his reason for living, his reason for every waking moment. But still here he was miles from her, without her. The distance could only be blamed on him, she would be here if he allowed her, but he wouldn't. He had made a choice, his quest had come before their love. There were answers that he needed, issues to be resolved before he could give to her what she needed. He was incomplete, and unworthy of her love.

       The sun reminded him of her, the fiery redness of it as it rose above the horizon. Its brilliance set against a bright blue sky. He could see her there, a glimpse of her, in the sun and in the sky. The night had always been the place he sought solace from the pain and the fear, but now it was the days. The sun would bathe him in it's bright warm light and for those hours, his pain would weaken as he looked upon the sky and thought of her.

       Her voice was all he had now, that and a memory of her face. Those rare brief moments he would weaken and call her. She had been his lifeline. His link to the world as the darkness consumed him. She would always pull him back, save him from himself. Now it was her voice, that was all that kept him going, that had become his link to the world, and with out it he knew he would be lost.

       He found himself holding the phone in his hand, he wanted to call her one more time, but he could see her sleeping, her red hair sprayed out on the pillow. The ache was unbearable, he needed to hear her voice one more time. As his hand reached out to dial her number, the words he had spoken to her came back with vibrant clarity.

"I can't come back. I have to find the truth. Without it I am nothing. It's here I know it is."

       He could still hear her gentle breathing as she breathed more than spoke her reply. "I know."

       He couldn't call her yet. It would only awaken her and deepen his ache for her. The need was greater now that it had been before. He needed her, wanted to touch her, to hold her in his arms, when the pain and the loneliness became to great.

       The tears came then welling in his eyes as he thought of her and all those years that they had had together. He missed her, and her voice. The sound of her voice soothed him as nothing in his life had before. He thought of all the years they had had together, emotions denied for all that time. Even now, when in each others voice they could hear the love, it remained.... unspoken. For now it was the distance that kept them apart.

       He pushed away the tears, the pain and the loneliness and set out his quest for the truth. Walking out into the day he was greeted again by the bright morning sun. He smiled a rare beautiful smile, that only thoughts of her could produce as he looked into the growing brilliance of the sun.

       As the sun rose across the city, his heart lightened with thoughts of her. And somewhere deep in the night, she smiled as the rain fell harder.

The sun reminds him....

The rain reminds her....