Disclaimer
I don't own the character's portrayed in this story.
They belong to CC and 1013 productions. If I did, I would strap
CC down and make him tell me *all* about Bill Mulder and tell me
what Cancerman's real name is!
Thanks goes out to Vanessa for reading and reading this in bits
and pieces. Thanks. And to the one who desires the night,
thank you for the inspiration you have given me.
Those Who Desire The Night
By: Kim Adams
[email protected]
He knew she was gone, the emptiness was back, the loneliness
had returned as it always did when she stepped out the door.
Each night she would come to him, sliding into his bed and
whispering into his ear.
"I am here, Fox." Her voice soft and light.
Fox would look into those deep and inviting blue eyes and wait
for the emptiness to dissolve beneath her touch. He would
closed his eyes, and feel her feather light touch caress his
chest. His mind would lock away all the pain and fear, for in
the night he would think only of her. In the night, she was
his. His to hold, to touch, to love but with the coming of the
light she would be gone.
"Stay with me, Dana." He said, his voice heavy with emotions.
"I am here, Fox. I will not leave." Dana would say as she lay
beside him on the bed.
He would take her hand in his, and marvel at the feel of her
skin on his. His mind would memorize every line, every inch of
her body. She would be his, here in the welcoming darkness.
Here he would love her as he always wanted to do. In the dark,
she would fulfill his every fantasy, every dark desire. She
would be all he wanted her to be, as he would be what she wanted
him to be. In the darkness of night, their secret desires
would be fulfilled.
******
Fox closed his eyes and waited for the morning light to stream
into the room. Through the cracks in the shades, the light
invaded his secret domain. The rays of the sun, who for some
could warm their hearts, cooled his. The sun and it's beams of
light cut through his heart and left nothing but pain in their
wake. He tried to shut out the light and focus on the memories
of last night. He could still smell the lingering fragrance she
wore and could almost see the smile on her face as she leaned
down to kiss his lips. As he struggled to retain more memories,
the light intensified and washed away all memories of his Dana
and the night they spent together.
******
Fox sat at his desk, sorting through piles of paperwork before
him. He no longer became excited at the prospect of a new case,
a new adventure. His had lost the strength that kept him going,
the strength that made him fight against the wrongs of men. His
strength had been taken by a bullet from his own hand. A bullet
that destroyed all he loved and all he believed in. If he
closed his eyes he could still see the tear and the look of
terror on her face, the image never left him. The memory of his
crime haunted him day and night. He would always fall asleep
thinking of her, and the feelings and secrets that he never
shared.
In his dreams, she was always there. She never blamed him for
taking her life, she was there to comfort him and to, if only
for a moment, take away the pain. Every morning, he would
awaken and for a few precious moments, she would still be there.
She would be there to hold him when the pain became to great and
the tears would begin to fall. He would hold on the best he
could, but when the last edges of sleep dissolved and the sun
shone through the window, she would disappear.
******
Months had passed since the fateful Modell case. Fox moved
through his day detached from all those around him. He heard
the hushed comments about his shooting Dana, but his mind closed
them off. He knew where the fault lay. He needed no one else
to remind him of that. Dana was gone because of his weakness,
and it was that weakness that would destroy him. He wandered
the halls of the building like a ghost. He existed as merely a
shell of the man he had been. The life and vitality he once had
were gone. Wiped away with the pull of a trigger. He spent his
days waiting for the night to come. It was there he felt alive,
in the night, in his dreams.
Fox thought of her as he drove towards his apartment. The sun
was setting. As he watched the sun fall behind the horizon, his
heart beat increased. He knew what waited for him with the
setting of the sun and the rising of the moon. Dana waited for
him.
He entered his apartment, the shades already drawn, it had been
months since he had opened them. Fox made his way to the
bedroom, removing his tie and shirt, throwing both into a pile
on the floor. He could almost feel the excitement course
through his body at the thought of Dana waiting for him, waiting
in his darkness. Today he had decided that he couldn't let her
leave again. The torture of losing her every morning was too
great. Without her he was not whole. He found pleasure only
in the nights he spent with her, nothing else made him feel
alive. The man he was died as he fired the gun that took her
life. Everything he wanted and desired died in that moment. He
had died.
Stripped of everything, he climbed into his bed and closed his
eyes willing the sleep to come. He waited, unaware that the
gentle arms of sleep had taken him.
She was here, he could feel her presence and smell her perfume
as she entered the room.
"Fox, I am here." Dana said as she lay on the bed.
Fox smiled and pulled her into his arms. Her head rested on
his chest. Fox breathed in deeply the smell of her hair. He
ran his fingers through her hair, slowly moving his hand down to
caress her neck.
"Fox, I missed you." Dana said softly.
Her hand moved slowly across his chest, bringing forth a moan
of pleasure from his lips.
"Dana." he whispered.
"Yes, Fox."
"I don't want to leave you." Fox said as tears slid down his
face.
"You don't have to, Fox. You can stay here with me, forever."
Dana said as she turned to face him. Wiping away his tears as
her hand reached his face.
"I can?" he asked softly.
"Yes. It is your choice. If you want to stay, I will be here
with you forever."
Fox smiled, the first genuine smile in months. He thought of a
life with her, forever. Forever, to hold her and love her. He
would give up anything to have that life. Anything.
******
A long figure stood before the grave of Fox William Mulder. A
single tear slid down his face as he thought of the losses that
Fox had endured and the guilt he had died with. The words
inscribed on the tombstone, tore at his heart. Fox Mulder's
last thoughts before death claimed him were of Dana and of her
death. He read again, the words which described the man Fox had
become. When he turned to leave, he made on final vow to Fox
and Dana..... "The truth will be found. Your deaths will not
have been for nothing." Walter Skinner said as he walked away.
The leaves blowing slowly across the grave of Fox Mulder.
Just know I loved her.
In her death, I died.
Mourn not me,
For I am unworthy
of such feelings.
Mourn the life that
I took.
And the losses that
came with that death.
In my dreams I will
await you, Dana.
Fox William Mulder, August 8, 1996
The End
This page was created on November 1, 1997
This page was last updated on January 14, 1999
©Copyright 1998 Kim Adams
[email protected]
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