Disclaimer
       The characters that you recognize in this story are not mine. I am just borrowing them for a little while. I will return them in *about* the same shape that I borrowed them. Those that you don't recognize well, they are mine. Thank you Chris Carter and 1013 productions for the use of these characters. No copyright infringement intended.

       The following is a two part story. 'Nightmares, Hope and a small bit of Truth' and the sequel 'The Agiel'. Nightmares can be rated PG., I don't think there is anything in it that you would not see in the show. Enjoy.

Nightmares, Hope and a small bit of Truth 1/2

By: Kim Adams
[email protected]

The chimes jingled ever so slightly as she entered Jake's All Night Diner.

"Good evening, Emma. What are you working on tonight?" asked Jake from behind the counter.

"Hi, Jake", the woman said as she gave the man a smile. "Oh, the just something from a dream I had last night. Can I get a cup of coffee?"

"Sure, anything else?"

"Not yet, thanks."

       He watched her walk to the booth in the corner. Her booth, he called it -- the same one that she came to every night to write. She would never let anyone read the story that she was writing. She would only say that when it was done she would let him read it. He wondered about her life; she spoke of no job or family. For the matter, she never mentioned any person details.

"Here is your coffee, Emma," he said as he sat the cup on the table. "How is the story coming along?"

"Well, good... shouldn't be much longer now."

       She glanced over at Jake as he wiped off the counter. He was such a kind man. She wondered about his life. Was he happy? He seemed to be. She looked around the diner. This place held a creativity that she needed. The story that flowed through her dreams was so frightening to her that she had to get it onto paper. She was afraid of the effect that the dreams would have on her life if she did not find some way to rid herself of them. Writing did that for her. Dreams had haunted her for as long as she could remember. These dreams were all that she had for years. Images in her dreams seemed to be just beneath the surface of a pond. Blurry unfocused afterimages were all she could see. As hard as she tried, she could never break through to see what was beneath the surface. It was those images that haunted her every waking moment. The nightmares were only part of it. The blurry images held something that she needed, her past.

       Today the nightmares had been the worst so far. She was so afraid of sleep sometimes that she would avoid it the best she could. Exhaustion always won out, and the dreams were always waiting for her on the edges of sleep.

       Tonight she would be writing about death. The images of people dying at the hands of a cruel evil man dressed in black rushed back to her conscious thoughts. Time to begin.

******

        The chimes sang out as a man walked into Jake's Diner. Emma looked up from her writing to see who had entered at this time of the night. The man wore a tired expression. He looked as if he had not slept in days. Despite this he was rather handsome. He looked familiar to her, but she did not know where she had seen him. Scowling at herself for getting distracted, she returned her attention to the papers before her. This time the dream was more disturbing than she had originally remembered. There was so much pain in these dreams. The thought of having to live a life like the one in her dreams terrified her.

"Sir, can I help you?" Jake asked the man as he took a seat at the counter.

"Coffee, please.

       Mulder looked around the diner. How had he missed this place? It was not far from his apartment and was really nice once you got inside. There were not too many people in here at this time of the night. He looked around at the only other occupants of the restaurant. A man sat in a booth to his left. He was reading and looked like he was on his way to work. To the right was a woman. She was hunched over at the booth, writing. Her auburn hair was gathered up into a loose knot on top of her head. As he watched her she played with it absentmindedly while she stopped to think.

"More coffee?"

"Thanks." Mulder was slightly embarrassed for being caught staring at the woman.

"That's, Emma. She comes in her just about every night and writes."

"What is she writing?"

"I don't know. She won't let me read it until it is done."

"Interesting"

"If you need anything else just let me know"

        Jake watched the man, warily. From all his years in the restaurant business, he had developed a knack for reading people. This man looked as if he had seen more than his share of bad days. His face wore the lines of many nights without sleep. Sleep, Jake would bet, was lost to nightmares. His eyes never remained on one thing, for long. They were constantly moving, as if he needed to know what everyone in the room was doing. Not the fear that comes quickly over a snake or an intruder. That is the fear that has developed over years. Years of constant exposure to horrors that no one was meant to see. Maybe it was those horrors that caused the nightmares? He thought of Emma, was it the same for her. Were nightmares what brought her here rather than dreams?

******
       Emma rubbed her neck to try and remove some of the stiffness that was developing. It helped some, but not enough to make a real difference. She glanced back at the man who had come in a little while ago. He stared into his coffee, as if he was a million miles away. She wondered where his thoughts were taking him, and why he look so sad. Again, she thought that he looked familiar to her, but she could not place where the memory came from.

******
"Can I get you anything else?" Jake asked as he walked back to the counter.

"No thanks," Mulder replied.

"Well, then have a good day"

       Mulder just smiled . He glanced at the woman, Emma, as he walked out the door. He could not shake the feeling that he knew her. His insomnia had led him to this diner tonight. The nightmares of his father dying in his arms were returning, along with the faces of all the people that died as a result of his search for the truth.

*So many people have died for my search. Would Sam approve of what I have done?*

       Partly he was sure the nightmares were because his relationship with Scully was beginning to deteriorate. That last couple of months there was a tension between them that had not been there before. He was worried, had he done something wrong? Had he argued against her theories one too many times? Was the stress of this job finally getting to her, and was she blaming him for all of her pain? He knew that he blamed himself enough for all the deaths that had occurred over the last three years. He had wanted to call her tonight, but for the first time he hesitated to do so. He was not sure she would want to hear from him, and have him remind her of the losses that they had both endured. So instead he took a walk. A walk where every shadow was a hidden threat and in every car was someone sent to kill him. *Paranoia is a wonderful thing.* Mulder chuckled to himself.

******
"Here is your breakfast, Emma."

"Thanks, Jake. That man that was in here a little while ago, do you know him?"

"Nope, I haven't seen him before. Why?"

"It's nothing, he just looked familiar. I thought that I might have seen him in here."

"Sorry, I wish that I could help."

"Thanks, Jake."

******
       Emma walked slowly down the street that would led her to her apartment. Her thoughts were consumed with the man in the diner. Something about him would not leave her. Sure he was handsome, but that was not what kept him on her mind. Something about him was so familiar to her, something that she could not place.

******
"Morning Mulder, How long have you been here?" Dana Scully asked as she placed her briefcase on her desk.

        She looked at the work on his desk. It appeared that he had been working for a while now. Nightmares were usually the cause of this, but if that was the case why hadn't he call her. Then why would he, their relationship hadn't been running smoothly lately. Still she could not help feeling hurt that after everything they had been through, he would not call her when he needed to.

"Morning Scully. Oh, I don't know a while I guess."

       She wanted to ask what was wrong, but she did not. Something about him this morning told her he was not ready to talk. Would he ever be again?

"Skinner wants to see us at 9:00."

"What have you done this time, Mulder?" She asked trying to lighten his mood. His reaction assured her that she could not succeed in this.

"Nothing" He answered her seriously and returned his attention to what he had been reading.

       She stared at his head as he focused all of his attention on the file before him. Something is wrong, but what. Nothing had been happening lately. Then she thought back to their last few cases and inwardly winced. Their relationship was beginning to show the strain of their disagreements. What she would not give to take back some of the harsh words that she had spoken to him over the last few weeks. The disagreements were getting worse and there seemed to be no end to them either. Something had to change, because they could not work like this anymore. Just as she was about to speak to him, his phone rang.

"Mulder," he answered. "Yes, sir we will be right there." He looked at Scully. "Skinner wants in his office now."

Without saying another word he got up and walked to the door. He paused there long enough to wait for her, and headed off to the stairs.

******
       Mulder sat quietly waiting to be called into Skinner's office. He knew he should try and explain to Scully what was wrong, but that was kind of hard when he did not know what it was. His mind kept wandering back to the woman in the diner. He knew her, but from where he did not know.

"Agent Mulder, Agent Scully, you can go in now." The assistant Director's secretary said as she motioned towards the office door.

They nodded to Skinner's secretary and headed to his office door.

"Agent Mulder, Agent Scully have a seat." Skinner said as he closed the file he had been reading.

Mulder could not help noticing the faint hint of cigarette smoke that lingered in the office. Cancerman.

"Agent Mulder, Scully, " Skinner said as he handed them both a copy of the file he had been reading. "This case needs your utmost attention."

"What is it in regards to, sir?" Scully asked as she opened the file Skinner had handed to them.

"It is a missing person's case. A 8 year old girl was kidnapped from her house last night. There were some unusual aspects to the kidnapping that seem to fall under the classification of an X-File."

       Mulder was sure that Skinner continued to talk, but he was so shocked by what he was hearing that all of what he was saying was lost to him. They were doing this to him, that shadowy recess of the government led by Cancerman. They knew the effect that this case would have on him.

"Mulder, do you have any questions?" Skinner's question got his attention.

"No, sir."

"Your dismissed."

       Skinner watched as the two left. His shoulders slumped he pushed his glasses up to massage his eyes. He would feel the guilt of this for a while. He should have refused to send them on this case. That bastard, Cancerman, wanted to torment Mulder the best way he knew how. By sending him on a case that would remind him of his sister. He was almost sure that this was a pre-arranged case. A way of reminding them all that he still had some control over their lives.

******
       They spent the better part of the day following up leads to the kidnapping case. Each one led to a dead end. By the evening, Mulder was pretty touchy. Scully tried on several occasions to break the tension, but nothing worked. If anything, it just made Mulder retreat further into himself.

       He sat at his desk and tried to concentrate on the file before him. The parents of the missing girl were so desperate to find their daughter. What haunted him more was the older brother that obviously felt responsible for his sister's disappearance. He knew that Cancerman had given this case to them to torment him. Cancerman had never been this obvious before, but that knowledge did not lessen the pain that ran through him.

Scully watched him and wanted so much to go to him and comfort him.

"Mulder, want to get some dinner?"

"No, thanks Scully, I think I'll just head home. It's been a long day"

"Mulder.."

"Really Scully, I'd rather not, Ok."

       "Mulder." He looked up at her, those hazel eyes held so much pain, more than one person should ever have to face. She walked over to his desk, and placed her hand on his. She wanted to take away that pain, but knew that she couldn't. She knew that he felt alone in the web of deceit and lies that they had become entangled in. He wasn't. If only he could see that.

"Fox, If you need me, I am here." Speaking his first name was forbidden, but she hoped that it was enough to express her sincerity.

       "I know, thank you, Dana." He squeezed her hand. He knew she was concerned and would have listened, but he was not ready to talk. He was afraid that if he told her what he was feeling that the emotions would overwhelm him.

******
       Emma woke up in a cold sweat. She barely contained the scream that threatened to erupt from her. *Oh, my god.* Images of the nightmare still were as fresh as if they just occurred. A man being shot by a woman that he trusted and the same man running from a fire. She pushed the covers from her and sat up in bed. She tried hard to control her breathing but the memories of her nightmares would not leave her.

******
       Mulder sat at his desk for hours after Scully left. He was glad to see her concern. It made him feel somewhat better. He knew that their bond was still there, especially when the darker parts of the F.B.I had their sights set on them. Despite the concern he knew he could not talk to her about this. All of his emotions were too raw, too close to the surface, thanks to Cancerman and this damn case. There was no way that he could not see and feel all the similarities in his life. His rational mind tried to convince himself that this was all done deliberately to hurt him, but it was not working. The emotions and memories were there, and no rationalizing could make them disappear. He had to go home and try to get some sleep. In the last few nights, he had only slept a few hours. He somehow doubted that it would change tonight.

******
       Mulder stared at the TV, but he was not seeing the show. He was back in his old home with Samantha, playing Stratego, waiting for the magician to come on. Then he saw the light, the tall unearthly figure in the door. He saw Samantha floating in the air, being taken away from him. He saw his frantic struggle to get his father's gun. Then finally tears of frustration fell as they took his sister away from him.

       Mulder wiped away the tears that fell trying to push them back to where he kept the pain hidden, deep inside his soul. Tonight, though, the tears would not be denied.

*Samantha, I need you.*

******
       Emma stepped carefully, trying to avoid the puddles on the sidewalk, as she headed to the diner. The nightmares just continued to worsen. She had decided once she started to write this story that there was no way that it could have a happy ending. She just did not see how that could be possible. The amount of pain that her character had been through let no room for happiness.

       As she entered the diner, she saw him. The man from last night. Again she had the feeling that she had seen him before. It was only a vague memory, but it was one with enough emotion that she could not let it go.

"Emma, how are you tonight?" Jake asked from behind a newspaper.

"Hello, Jake, I'm fine. How about you?"

"Pretty good, I can't complain."

"Jake," she said as she sat down at the counter, purposefully lowering her voice. "That man is back. Any idea who he is yet?"

"Nope, He does not talk much. He has just been sitting there working on something for about an hour. "

"Hmm, oh well."

"What is so interesting about him, Emma?"

"Oh. nothing. Like I told you last night, he just looks familiar to me. I guess, I had better get started."

       She headed to her booth, and could not stop herself from glancing over at him again. He was reading over papers. The papers covered the entire table, except for one corner that held his coffee cup. His expression was what really got her attention. He was so engrossed in his work that it seemed to be part of him. Without it, he was not whole. Every time he looked at one of the files, the despair on his face intensified. It was if the very thing that he was working on was slowly killing him.

******
       Mulder tried desperately not to look at her, for once he did he found it hard to pull his gaze away. He was not sure why he was here, but he knew that it was the woman that drew him here. Something about her was so familiar to him. It was as if she was part of a memory that he could not pull into his consciousness.

******
       Mulder stood outside the diner and watched Emma as she worked. The past week had gotten progressively worse and he spent most of it yelling at Scully. He knew that his anger was due to the case they were working on. There had been no leads, no clues, and no ideas of where to look next. No one knew anything about this missing girl. It was as if she had disappeared into thin air, another similarity that he really did not want to think about.

       He decided that tonight he would talk to her. He was drawn to her, but it was not a sexual attraction. That he could have understood, but this was different. Over the past week, he had tried to analyze is feelings, but with his emotions being so close to the surface he was afraid to dwell on them too much. He was afraid of what he might discover.

******
"Excuse me, may I join you?"

Emma, looked up from her story into hazel eyes. Those eyes, she knew them, but from where.

"Excuse me?"

"My name is Mu... Fox. May I join you?"

"Uh... Yes, you may. My name is Emma," she said as she extended her hand towards him.

Mulder lightly shook her hand, "Emma, it's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to finally meet you, Fox. It seems that we share a love of the night or were both insomniacs." she smiled.

Mulder laughed. "Let's say it's a combination. How is your story coming along?"

"Well, it's almost finished. Just the ending is all that is left. How did you know I was writing a story?"

"Jake mentioned it."

       It was then that Mulder noticed the small silver locket that she wore. A small fox was engraved on the locket. It took every ounce of will power that he had to not reach out and touch the locket. He moved his gaze from the locket to her eyes. In those eyes, he saw something that he never thought he'd see again. He saw Samantha.

The End

This page was created on November 1,1997
 This page was last updated on January 14, 1999

©Copyright 1998 Kim Adams

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