Disclaimer:
        Hello everyone! Well, this is my first attempt at an x-files story. I wrote it after "731." If you have not watched the show, you should before reading this. Otherwise, it won't make much sense. I hope that you enjoy this. I felt that something needed to be said after the way it ended. It contains SPOILERS. Note: I wrote this a while ago and have redone it a bit. I wrote this BEFORE I realized that the man who talked to Scully in "731" was in "Blessing Way" and now in "Apocrypha." Hope you all enjoyed. This was the first attempt I made and now that I read it, well, it wasn't the best thing I've ever done.

       The first two quotations are taken directly from the end of the show. I am in no way take credit for those two quotations. I give all credit for them to Chris Carter and Ten Thirteen Productions.

        This is a story based on the character created by Chris Carter and Ten Thirteen Productions. I am only using them for a little while and no copyright infringement is intended.

Do You Believe in Me?

By: Kim Adams
[email protected]

       "Don't you see, Mulder, you're doing their work for them. You're chasing aliens that aren't there, helping them to create a story to cover their shameful truth and what they can't cover they apologize for. Apology has become policy."

He stood, his belief in what he had seen evident in his eyes.

       "I don't need an apology for the lies. I don't care about the fictions they create to cover their crimes. I want them to be accountable for what did happen. I want an apology for the truth." She stood before him, her belief in what she had seen evident in her eyes.

Mulder looked at her, almost uncertain of who stood before him. He needed air. He needed out of this office.

"I need some air."

"Mulder..." He left quickly, ignoring her.

******
        He walked out of the office, out of the building, and out into the street. He kept walking, uncertain of where he was going. He just knew he had to leave the office before he said things to her that he would regret. How could she discount everything that they had seen so quickly? Everything that had happened could not be linked to this one man and his experiments. Why now, after all the lies and betrayals, did she believe this man, a man she had never met and knew nothing about?

Trust no one.

        That was a warning and a prophecy of sorts, but it was the truth. In the swarm of lies that enclosed them and threatened to destroy them, that one warning was the only truth.

        He finally stopped walking and sat. He sat there on a bench in the middle of D.C., in the middle of winter, and wondered what to do now. Did she still believe in him? She had not always believed his theories, but she had believed in him. Was this the beginning of the end? Would the secret dark recess of the government finally get there wish? Would their partnership end? Worst of all, their friendship; was that strong enough to survive?

******
        She watched him leave and knew that she had hurt him. She did not know what to say to him. What she had seen had been the truth, she knew that. What the government had done was inexcusable.

Now what? She asked herself.

        She went to her desk to finish her report. She could not concentrate on the paperwork that she needed to be doing. All she could see was the hurt in his eyes and the scars on his face. He had so many scars. So many that could not be seen. Those that lay deep within him and caused him to wake at night screaming. Had she added another scar?

She believed in him, but she also believed what she had seen. How could she make him understand that?

******
        He was not aware of how long he sat there only that it was getting dark and he was freezing. She should be gone by now. He still was not ready to face her. He knew that this would hurt their friendship worse if it was left alone. They would have to talk about it, or this would be the end of them. He just wasn't sure that he was ready or able to deal with this now. His head still throbbed. *I guess that what happens when some asshole kicks you in the head.*

******
        She sat in the office staring at the computer screen until her head ached. She wanted to talk to him. To make him see her point, but she knew that it was impossible. *Mulder* She got up. She needed to find him to at least see him. She had to know that he was Ok.

******
        She stood in the shadows and watched him. He sat there on the bench. His head in his hands. She wanted so badly to go to him and comfort him, but knew that he would find no comfort in her presence. Why for once couldn't she just tell him what she thought without sounding condescending and making his opinions seem so irrelevant? He started to get up. She moved farther into the shadows.

        She saw his face as he walked away. The lines on his face seemed to be deeper and he walked as if he was defeated. Her heart went out to him. She saw what losing had done to him again. How much longer could he go one like this?

******
He walked into the office. He was right she was gone. He sat at his desk and looked at the papers before him. With one swoop he wiped everything from his desk to the floor. Anger and loss overwhelmed him.

"Damn this place. Why do they always win?"

        With every word his anger grew. He began ripping the posters from the wall. Throwing anything he could grab against the wall. Files, books, anything that came within his reach he flung against the wall.

       "They took Samantha. They Killed my father. They killed Melissa. They took Scully. Is there no justice. Don't they ever have to pay for the pain and destruction that they have caused."

Frustration and grief finally took hold and he slips to the floor.

"The truth. All that I want is the truth" The tears began to flow.

******
        She stood outside the door, afraid to go in. Feeling like a voyeur, but wanting to make sure that he was all right. She gasped as she watched Mulder knock everything from his desk. She stepped farther into the shadows as he began ripping the posters from the wall. When she heard his pleas for answers no one could give him her heart broke. Her tears began to fall as his did. There was nothing she could say to comfort him now. Her presence would offer him no comfort.

She turned and left.

******
        It was late. She glanced at the clock. <2:00 in the morning. I wonder if he is home> She wanted to call him, but every time she picked up the phone she knew it would be a mistake. She did not know what to say to him. Nothing that she thought of would make a difference or take away his pain.

******
        He stood outside her apartment trying to gather the nerve to ring the bell. He wanted to talk to her. He needed to see her. He had to know if she still believed in him.

******
        The sound of the doorbell stirred her from her thoughts. When she opened the door he stood before her. His eyes red and puffy from the tears that he had cried. He looked so helpless and lost.

"Mulder."

She moved aside to let him into the apartment.

"You look awful. Sit down"

He would not sit. He just paced the room.

"Mulder, are you okay?"

He looked at her.

"I know..."

She went over to him. She touched his face, wiping away the tears that had begun to fall.

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

        He pulled her to him and held her. He just wanted to let go of all the pain and all the anger. He expected her to pull away but she did not. She wrapped her arms around him and began to speak to him.

"Mulder, I'm sorry. Are you all right?"

        He backed away to look at her. She looked so worried. How could he ever think that their disagreements would ever end this friendship? He let go of her and walked over to the window.

"I know that you think I am wrong about what I saw, but I need to know if you still believe in me."

He unconsciously held his breath waiting for her answer. "Of course I believe in you, Mulder. We disagree about most everything, but that belief in you is always there. Is that what you thought? You thought that I didn't believe in you anymore?" "Yes." She smiled.

It felt so good to see her smile.

"Mulder, no matter what happens I will always stand beside you. I will never turn my back on you. "

"Thank you, Scully."

"Come on sit down. This can not be the only thing that is bothering you. What else is wrong?"

She knew she had seen him in their office, but she could not tell him that. They went over to the couch and sat. He still looked so sad and defeated.

"Mulder, talk to me."

"I just can't help but wonder if this search for the truth has been worth it. Look at all the people that have died just so I can fulfill this need of mine to search for the truth. Maybe it's time to stop."

"Mulder, you can't stop. You are right a lot of good people have died or been hurt by these people. Mulder think of the ones that would be effected if we stopped. If there was no one to make these people accountable for there acts, they would be out of control. We may not always be able to expose them, but our knowledge of them does hurt them. We can't stop. The truth is out there."

He couldn't help smiling, she sounded so much like him. Maybe he was rubbing off on her after all.

"Scully, you are starting to sound a lot like me. You better be careful. Next thing you know you'll start believing in U.F.O's-. "

She gave him that look, the one that was reserved for his tirades into the unknown.

"Not quite, Mulder."

"I know we can't stop. I guess I am just so tired of the truth slipping through my fingers. Just once I would like to see them pay for the pain that they cause."

"I know Mulder, and one day they will. They will."

He saw the determination in her eyes. He could never tell her just how much that it meant to him.

"Scully, you got anything to eat? I'm starving."

        A smile began to show on his face. To Scully that was the best thing she had seen in a long time. The pain was still there, but for now he would be all right. He would go on and fight just as hard as he could to prove he was right. One day the truth would be known.

"Lets go see."

"Oh, and Scully, by the way, the office is kind of messy. Uh, you might want to come in a little late tomorrow."

She turned and smiled at him. "What did you do, Mulder? Tear it apart?"

"Well, kind of, but don't worry I will clean it up."

"You'd better, or else."

        As they walked into the kitchen, the tension of the day seemed to slowly begin to slip away. They were a team and friends. This was a bond that no group could destroy. Besides, they had no one to trust but each other.

******
A door opened into a smoke-filled room. A man entered. He was heavy set and had a full head of gray hair. When he spoke, it was with an accent.

"Its all been taken care of. She believes everything she was told. Did you get the briefcase?"

A man in the shadows leaned forward and extinguished his cigarette in the ashtray.

"Yes, we did. Good job."

The man picked up his cigarettes and lit another.

The End

This page was created on October 31, 1997
 This page was last updated onJanuary 14, 1999

©Copyright 1998 Kim Adams

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